Adventure Day: Newton Beach

Today we had a few hours down Newton Beach in Porthcawl, on what turned out to be a very windy day!

Weekly: Future of this Website

I have been thinking a lot about my website, blog and what I want to do with it all. In the few years that it has been up I have hardly done anything with it, time being a small part of that. The biggest reason I have come to realise for me not moving forward with making this website so much more, overwhelming myself.

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Reading: Waiting: Rediscovering Boredom in the Age of the Smartphone

This morning I read and Article by Julie Shiels called Rediscovering Boredom in the Age or the Smartphone. A pretty interesting read for most of us these days.

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Adventure Day: Back to Craig Yr Aber

It has been a hot minute since I went out last. Today after weeks of bad weather and timings I finally managed to get out in the wilds again. I had promised myself that I would be out more this year, this is the first time but so much has been happening. Today was a much need break.

Today I decided to go to an old stomping ground, Craig yr Aber. No matter the time of year I find there is always beauty up there to be found. The deeper forest are the best, the most freeing, a place for imagination to bloom. It was hear that I put use to the foraging pouch and hunted for things for my son to look at and enjoy.

The adventure today paid off. After trying to get to a spring that seemed naturally defended, I settled on stumbling across a beautiful spot. I sat and rested here for a while, the lazy Sun hanging to the left warming me up, a stream flowing on my right and a ruin of a long forgotten building in front. I sat on a tuft of ground covered in thick green moss and wrote in my journal while listening to the birds sing. It was a perfect moment.

Then I heard a sudden scatter of feet heading towards me! A flash of black and white zoomed past, jumped over the stream, under a fence and headed deep into the pine forest! I was so shocked to see a badger that, as far as I could tell, didn’t notice me being there.

The encounter was an interesting highlight to the adventure. The rest of the morning I spent slowly strolling through the woods heading back up to my car.

In all it was a nice walk, although I feel tired now I feel recharged again and I can’t wait to get back out there again. Harley also enjoyed looking at the bits that I managed to pick up, he loves the oak twig for some reason.

World of Warcraft on mobile?

It has been a number of years since I first started playing World of Warcraft, the great graphics, stories and large world.

This unfortunately not long after starting my adventure into the realm of Azeroth I could no longer afford to keep it going and when I finally got back around to playing it I found my laptop could no longer cope with the demand of the game.

Now it sounds like there is a possibility of WOW coming to mobile devices, something that has been asked for for a while. I know that with Apple and the new M1 chips, there really is no reason why it couldn’t be played on the iPad Pro at the very least.

The only down side is Blizzard has yet to announce exactly what is coming to the mobiles. Speculation seems to stand with a side game similar to Pokemon Go or the retired Minecraft Earth.

Time will tell, but it is definitely something I will be watching keenly.

Source: https://apple.news/AWKLSU4bvSiSMZAzMkVcUlA

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Let’s Talk – Religion and Spirituality

As someone that got brought up in a Christian family and country, naturally my mind had been filled with the Christian beliefs of God, Jesus, Easter and Christmas. Even though my family are not “practitioners” of the faith, where ever we turn the religion is there. I imagine no different in countries that are majority of other believes.

When I was a child I never questioned and in truth invested into religion. It was all there was then. It wasn’t until my faith got tested when I was around 10. My friend had died tragically and I turned to religion to find comfort and answers. Granted asking God to bring my friend back was never going to happen, however other things I asked help for God never answered.

I lost faith, but was curios in what other religions believed in.

Space Wolves and Runes

By the times GCSE’s was upon me I was starting to see the failure of Christianity. It was around this time my sister got me the Warhammer 40,000 novel Space Wolf by William King. I was collecting the models at the time, although my decision on an army was all over the place.

This book changed that, the Space Wolf army was what I was looking for. I then started looking into the whole Viking and Celtic side of this army. There was Gods! More than one! The runes was magical!
I admit, as a 15 year old I was overwhelmed in understanding half of this by my self.

The year later I got given glass rune stones and a guide book for Christmas (seeing slight irony now). I naively practiced rune casting and picking a daily rune. I tried to interpret the meanings and on the most part it was relevant.

I had more answers from this heathenry than God ever gave me…
However that Christian raised voice said this is sinful!

The thoughts of Runes, Space Wolves and more the God Tyr (who’s day I was born on, Tuesday), have always stayed with me.

Jehovah Witness’s

My friend in school was a Jehovah’s Witness. Despite what is said of them I never had a problem with the family or religion. I asked questions now and them and admittedly I started to got to their meetings to learn more. I found out through me own research that a lot of what I got taught as a child wasn’t true.

It came to a point that it was a dive in or jump out situation. I thought hard about it and I found that yes I believe that there was something more than myself out there, this God though was not it.

I honour and respect everyone’s believes, I enjoy learning about them.

Buddhism

For years since then I have been in limbo spiritually. Torn between logically there does not seem to be a higher being, or at least not one that shows face, and there is so much unexplained about our existence to say there is not anything at all.

The last few years Buddhism along with minimalism has been an interest. Although it is not strictly a religion but a way of life.
In a way I have found calmness with this venture. It has taught me that I have got more than I need or want and as such I have started to reduce my things down.

Although I do like the teaching within Buddhism that I will keep learning and bring with me, I have found it isn’t the answer that I have been looking for.

The Gods have been speaking.

2020 for everyone was hellish, for me it seen the illness and sadly death of my Grandfather. This year has seen our family in limbo not only in mourning but an overwhelming amount of things have been happening thanks to Covid-19.

December has brought a few realisations for me. One important one being my spirituality. I’ve come to realise (and is an interpretation “looking for” thing) that Odin has been sending me hints. Not with his favoured Crows, with their smaller cousins the Jackdaws. When lost in thought two always show up at the right time. There is a Rook that lives near by, he cry’s out when my thoughts have been turning darker.
Then a few weeks ago I found a Tiktoker called AHeathensRaid. She does rune readings, the first one that come on my for you page was about judging myself too harshly, to look at what I have achieved with a last note from Tyr.

I have battled enough. Remember, you’re your best lover… not your own enemy.

These words to me was what I needed and in a way delivered by Tyr.
I have started to look more into Norse Paganism these last few weeks again unlike Christianity or Buddhism is has felt homely. I have a lot to learn about the Gods, religious events and what it all means for me, but it excites me and I’m happy for that.

Back to Daydreaming

Growing up, I remember that I always had something to do, playing with toys, watching TV, outside playing with friends or family, drawing and even painting models. Failing that I used to stop and daydream.

Now as an adult, I am dependent on a sheet of glass with plastic and metal inside, that can quickly take my time and focus away.
Have you ever thought about or looked at what you use and do on your phone? While we watch TV we play on our phones only half watching this background distraction. When we go for meals you see people with phones in their hands instead of talking fully present in the moment. Heck even when we go to the toilet the phone remains in our hands. Even the idea of listening to music (through the phone) can quickly become a background noise as we need to be doing something on the phone. Day dreaming or being fully present is all but non-existent.

Starting here in November I am reducing my time spent on social media, games and devices in general. A first step to a Technology detox by setting up time restrictions, Focus and Downtime with my iPhone and iPad.

2 Hours for Social Media: TikTok,Facebook, Discord, Twitter (not Tweetbot), Instagram, Snapchat and Pinterest.
3 Hours for Games.
Downtime between 21:00 and 6:30: and hour before sleep and after waking up.

The idea is to spend more time being productive instead of wasting time watching TikTok videos and playing games when time could be spent writing, drawing or reading. Things that I used to like doing before technology took over.

The coming few months I want to spend re-setting my mind, get into better habits, removing time wasting distractions and trying to gain back a longer concentration again.
It is time to get out of this rut!

I had an accident

Since the middle of last year I have been growing a beard. Sounds like I wasn’t the only one during lockdown made no effort to shave. I was proud of it! Until this morning, I tried to tidy it up somewhat. I had an accident, I took too much off on the side. In the end, it had to all come off.

My lesson from this, get a professional to tidy it up for me!
Emma was not happy when she seen it and told me off, then Harley seen me… and stared at me not looking happy. They both told me I need to grow it back.

I am waiting for Caitlin’s reaction now.

The funny thing is how different my face looks and feels not having a beard there. It is cold.

I can’t wait to start growing it out again.

Let’s Talk: Depression

Depression, a word that for each person has a different meaning. A word that for those that have never suffered with means you are feeling a bit down, upset, or sad.

Since I was twelve I have suffered with depression at different degrees and for different reasons. Today I want to talk about it… need to write about it.

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5 Short Term Goals

I haven’t set any short term in a while. I have yet to commit and complete any short term goals either.
I think it is time to change that.

Move
Stabilise
Write
Got to catch ‘em all
Stop!

Move

Critically this is one area of my life that decreases all the time. I do less and less. I’m not walking or moving as much as I used to. Since this pandemic started things have gotten worse and I feel less motivated to do anything.
Half of my health problems comes down to the fact I do not move enough.
Now Harley has started school and we are walking him there I have felt better and my blood pressure has dropped.
A few times I have closed the exercise ring with the Apple Watch, the last week I have come close otherwise.

My goal is to get into the habit of closing all three rings by the end of the day.

Using the Apple Watch to track my movement and exercise, matched with Fitness+ I want to close the rings each day. Even if it means going for a walk after work instead of Fitness+.

Stabilise

Money has been in nothing but free fall lately. It has to get back in control. Nothing much else to say about it.

I use and app called You Need A Budget (YNAB). I have used it for years (on and off) and have found it the best out there.
The goal is double down and keep track of our budget and stick to our budget.

Write

I keep a journal that I try and write in daily, however not everyday is there anything to write about. All hand written with fountain pen. The analog process I find helps me slow down and think more, a form of meditation in and of itself. A lot of my posts are first hand written.
Despite my dyslexia (which does affect my writing), I enjoy to write. My struggles comes from not knowing what to write other than post ideas or journal entries.

My goal is to start writing in my quiet time each morning. In that stillness before everyone wakes where dreams mix with reality.

I use an app called iA Writer because of the simple interface and aids. I want to fill this app with short stories, dreams, brain dumps and rants. What ever takes my fancy that morning.
If I can do this each day, practice and build up my skills, I would be happy.

Got to catch ‘em all

I have been a fan of Pokemon since the first game came out. I have played on nearly all the games since, currently that is Pokemon Sword. This game has defiantly been the best so far and I have enjoyed it, enough to be determined for the first time to catch *all* of the Pokemon in the game.
Then I found the Pokemon Home app both on the Nintendo Switch and mobile… you can put every Pokemon from 3DS, Switch and Pokemon Go on there!

This is my determined goal, to catch, trade and gather all the Pokemon, their different genders, variations, and Regional forms. If possible their shinnies.

Image by Thimo Pedersen through Unsplash

Yes, my geek moment, not sorry.

Stop!

The other thing I need to start doing is stopping. Spend more time doing nothing at all, more time in my head and with myself.
I find my self trying to fill gaps with something. Whether it is my phone, tablet, games, tv, anything that stops me from sitting with myself

My goal then is to have at least 5 minutes each day, stop, do nothing, no music, no distractions and stop. Sit with myself and listen to what I have to say.